OK, i love stumbling!!! I admit it. I don’t spend all day doing it… but when i do, i always find something interesting. in the past hour while leno is on i have flown a heicopter into walls (not the intent of the game. The intent is to fly around the walls). I have read about lucid dreaming and looked at a 30 year picture history of a family…just one picture a year, bookmarked a site that promises only healthy recipes, and played with this kaleidoscope. You have to try the kaleidoscope and look at the pictures……..
Stumbled Upon Sites:
Stumble
Well I downloaded Mozilla. I was happy with firefox, but i was told that mozilla comes with a wysiwyg web page writer that writes good code and i wanted to check it out for my sister in law who wants wo sell online and needs a site and is not up to writing the pages.
I really really like mozila from what i have seen of it. Of course that is not a lot so far. I did try the wysiwyg but i need to play with it more before i can if i like it (It seems well laid out.) I have spent most of my time with an add-on called StumbleUpon. It is so cool. You have to sign up to use it because they modify it to your interests. Then you click the button and “stumble” onto web pages that are highly rated and match your interests. I sent you all the table of condiments that periodically go bad. It amused me. Most of the sites i have looked at amuse or interest me.
Just what i need…. another way to waste time…….
The White Site
I spent the weekend learnig from Chris and improving the look of the message boards on the White site…… (I enjoyed having Chris and Christina here.) I used the tree picture i have had in mind for the front page on the whole bunch message board. I can still use ot on the front page…… I made a picture of what i have had in mind for the front page. I do not have it clearly in my mind yet… I am not sure of where to put the trees and the links… But i have had in mind the placement of the picture and the black bar with the name of the site and thought that if i could look at it, the rest might fall into place.
I am uploading it and linkind to it here. I would like any of you to give me your thoughts and make suggestions.
How far?
How far do you take it? When do you just let it go?
Another vet visit. Officially this was to take everyone in for their vaccines. But of course there was a Grailing evaluation. The tumor is growing so fast, so very fast. And it was a strange feeling, walking out of the office with only two rabies tags.
I’ve been looking online, and there are other treatments. I could get a $300 kit to lower pH. I could add specially tuned crystals to his water dish. I could … well, I could be doing these things. And I’m not.
So have I lost hope, given up? Am I failing him by not pursuing all options? There’s no way to know. If one of those options worked, it would be worth whatever it took, but if they don’t, I’d feel bad for ruining the quality of his final days.
There’s one supplement that’s actually listed as a cancer cure. Grailing doesn’t like the way it tastes and won’t eat his food if this supplement is in it. So I’ve stopped adding it.
I know there’s no way to know what the right call is. I just really wish there was. I know I’d go to the ends of the earth for him .. and yet I’m not, saying that the ends of the earth won’t do him any good.
I wish I could know if I was failing him, or helping him transition with his dignity intact.
I hate the not knowing. That’s just about the worst part of it.
cost of lookin’ good
Truth is, another problem with my diet is that i know I am going to have hanging sklin. I have talked about this before. I have the name of a couple of plastic surgeons and my doctor also recommended looking into a teaching hospitlal resident surgery. She said that residents have at least 5 years of surgical experience but need practice on real people performing real surgery so hospitals give a pretty good discount.
But i was still afraid of the cost…. envisioning $100,000+
Went looking online today. It is pricey but it is do’able. I only found the dr charges, not the hostipal, and when you add in the hospital cost I will probably have to go woth a teaching hospital and cross my fingers, but it is not going to run as much as i was afraid it would… not for the bare minimum, anyway.
Much relief.
The ongoing struggle
I am trying… I am honestly trying…. All of a sudden it got hard.
Last month i was awarded my 16 week pin, the pin that signifies that i have made it thru the crucial time and am more likely, statically, to make it all the way to my goal weight. I was asked what i did to stick with it. I told them it was not that hard, really… that i had this health crisis and something in me changed. (Well it did!) But i think i jinxed myself. Since January 12th I have lost a whopping 5 pounds. (well, almost – I am 2/10ths of a pound from my next 5 pound star. – I suggested that we close the doors and let me strip to get rid of those 2/10ths, but the weigh’er-in’er did not think that was a good idea.)
I know some of the reasons it has gotten hard:
1) I feel so much better.
2) I relaxed my guard.
3) My fat cells are starving and crying out for food.. bad food… I crave fat…. strongly.
4) I am not good at long-term… I lose interest… Get sidetracked.
But, even so, I do not understand why it is so hard. I want this. I really really want this. I talk to myself… remind myself of all the reasons. I listen; I determine that i am back on the straight and narrow. And then I just fail…. I don’t understand.
It is good that I have all of you pulling for me. It is good that my doctors are both so proud of me that i feel sick at the thought of not having lost more when i go back for the next visit. It is good that i have gotten rid of all my clothes that are too big. I go in and try on the next size down from time to time and have moved them into my closet so i see them all the time. I want to get into the next size down. It felt so good to give away all my “fat clothes” that i want to do it again.
It is also good that i am beginning to feel fat again. For a while i felt so much smaller… It is still nice to sit in places that i could not easly sit before… but i am increasingly aware of my belly again, which is a good thing.
Well, it has been a while since I have “reported in” because i did not have anything good to report… consider this my update.
Laughing Babies
Wanted to share a cute video.
Friday morning
This story begins on Monday. On Monday, Kevin met with a new cleaning lady. We’d had a service before he was unemployed. Dropped it while he was. Restarted it now that he isn’t.
Not with the same service (a little iffy with them), but with a new lady that does the houses of several of his new coworkers and came highly recommended.
She cleaned the house on Monday. She was, as stated, thorough and conscientious. Let me rephrase that. She was VERY thorough and VERY conscientious. Just how thorough and conscientious took me four days to discover.
Fast forward four days. Friday morning. I wake up; get up. Took Kevin to the airport the night before, so it’s a qiuiet morning. Get all dressed. Feed the cats. Get the paper before starting in on the cereal. We have a weekend subscription to the paper – Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It’s a nice treat to read the paper on Fridays while eating breakfast.
So. Out to get the paper, back to the porch to discover just how Very Thorough and Very Coscientious our new cleaning lady is. She wants to make sure the house is secure when she leaves. She uses her new key to lock the deadbolt – and the door. The doorknob. Which we never lock. Which we never check because we never lock it. Which is now locked.
Which puts me and the newspaper outside, without a coat, without a key, without a phone, without a spouse – locked out of my house.
It’s hovering around 40 degrees. It’s 7:15 in the morning. The Kroger – nearest source of a phone and a phone book – is a mile away.
So yes. I walk. A mile there. A mile back. A two mile stroll in two inch heels. On the jogging trail, which I am grateful exists and am very grateful it is level, but would have liked it to have been paved. I tell myself I am glad I am fully dressed. I list the five pairs of shoes in my wardrobe that would be less comfortable to hike in.
While I am walking, the temperature is actually a good thing. Then I get back to the house, and wait for the locksmith. He arrives at 9:00, but as I have no watch I have no idea of how much time passes. All I know is that sitting still, it is cold outside.
Locksmith gets out of his enclosed truck, walks up all friendly, says ‘Beautiful day, isn’t it? Wonderful weather.’ Sigh.
He comes, happy ending, I get back into the house (only $50, which is nice). I warm up. I go to work and adjust my timesheet to show 1 1/2 hours of personal leave. I discover that I have blisters on both of my feet. I am glad I have a desk job.
I eat fast food for lunch, and I biggie size it. I’ve earned those calories, drat it, and I need comfort food.
And yes. The rest of my day seemed just marvelous. Made my to-do list for the weekend with the most unflappable aplomb.
To Do.
Item 1. Make extra house keys.
New post
Well. I’ve waited days and days to see a new post, so that “Grailing .. bad news” isn’t the first thing I see when I load the page.
Guess I’ll just have to post it myself.
So let’s see. The carry case for my telescope finally arrived. As much as I enjoyed getting the telescope set up, I am looking forward to breaking it down into the proper porting pieces. It’s a wonderful bag. I can proudly take my place with all the other beginning amateur astronomers. I have a fine telescope.
And yes, Saturn is way cool to look at. But I am going to have to get some more eyepieces.
Ordered stuff from e-bay (it’s my second order). Think it should arrive soon; it was theoretically shipped Monday. Will leave my glowing seller feedback when it arrives.
Donated three formal dresses to the Cinderella project here in Raleigh. They gather formals and have a big party thing where qualifying girls get to come in and try stuff on and find a dress they like for the prom. All free. Gave them the used-to-be matching shoes, too, though I hestiated on the shoes. They really aren’t the best .. but perhaps they will find some use.
Like FreeCycle, I liked donating to the Cinderella Project more than I would have enjoyed simply donating to Goodwill. Though I have a couple of boxes to take in there, too.
Weekend is coming. Plan to make all those donation trips on Saturday. I’m also planning to shuffle my fish around. One has been in the kitchen tank, the other has been upstairs. I think they should switch for a while. I might get a fancy guppy to put in the tank with the frog. I just feel like it must get boring, sitting in a tank all day. Perhaps the frog and guppy won’t speak the same language, but it will be something. Something is less boring than nothing. Or I might get a second frog. But I think it would be important to have two frogs of the same size, and I don’t know if I can judge which store frogs are the same size as my frog at home. Which is why I generally come back to the guppy idea. And I like guppies. They are colorful.
I got a new Tolkien book for myself. Haven’t read it yet – so many books from the library, and they have due dates. But it is so pleasant to have a Tolkien book waiting for me.
Was talking to Mom about Hawaii, trying to be motivational and all that. Then suddenly it dawned on me – I’d be going too. I’d probably have to wear a swimsuit. In public. And I only have a year to become posterially fabulous. So now I have a goal, and I wasn’t even looking for one. Should I be thankful or vexed?? 😉
Did you guys know Ann now has an employee in her business? Getting very official. The new hire is only for a few hours in the middle of the day, and Ann is amusingly managerial about how slow they are, but with all that I was greatly impressed. An employee. So many orders Ann and David can’t keep up with the business on their own.
I’m going to start saying only nice things about my good and clever friend, Ann.
Well, I guess I’ll wind it down now. I really didn’t have anything to say, just putting something new up there.