obesity as a joke

Just got a “funny” email…   Says “You know that summer is near when the girls start showing off their belly buttons,” followed by a picture of a very fat woman sitting on a park bench with her knees splayed out, and her belly hanging between them so badly that her belly button shows under the hem of her skirt.
My first reaction was shock and horror of a belly so droopy that it hangs down between her legs.  My second reaction was feeling sick for her…  She looks like she tries…   her dress is a cheery pink print; she is well groomed….   she cares what she looks like.  I KNOW she has no idea that her belly is showing.  She is just sitting on a park bench minding her own business (and unintentionally grossing out anyone who sees her).  Can you imagine how much it hurts her to have her picture plastered all over the WWW?  You know that people who know her will see it (have seen it) and many of them will laugh and some will tell her, and some will titter when she walks past.  She will feel like everyone has seen it……    I know how i would feel.  I would hurt…  and want to never be seen again.

2 comments

  1. I am sorry.

    Some people never grow out of middle school, thinking it is such a lark to be mean.

    And you have always been strongly empathetic, and I know this particular concern is weighing on your mind right now making you identify even more personally with this particular very nice lady.

    So. She’s presenting herself cheerfully, well put together – you know she has friends. If this is hurting her, these friends will help her. If this is embarrasing her, these friends will help her. And if this embarrasses her friends, maybe they’ll help her in other ways.

    Maybe she’s lost lots of weight recently and is preparing for her own reconstructive surgery. Maybe this picture will be her ‘Most Impressive “before” Photo” on the surgeon’s wall of successes.

    Just giving you some other ways to think about it.

    But, in reaction to you specifically, I feel the same way. I don’t think its funny to catch people in some awdward but human moment. I think civilization depends on everyone maintaining the pleasant fiction about each other.

    Mean isn’t funny. And I don’t understand why some people think it is. I really, really do not understand. More than that, I don’t want to understand.