The Family

Went to the doctor the other day, the heart doctor. She tells me i HAVE to lose weight. Of course I already knew that. I have gained. Every time I try to lose I gain. I freak when i try to diet, and end up eating more than if i was not trying. She tells me she wants me to go to my GP and get a prescription for diet drugs and antidepressants.

I hate the idea of diet drugs, and will require one that has been in use for years so it is less likely to have surprise side effects, but maybe it is time.

I do not think i need an antidepressant.

The first time i went to see this doctor i was down. I thought I was diabetic. I knew i had high blood pressure. I was down.

The second time i went to her i knew i was not only not diabetic, i was not even pre-diabetic, and I had taken a stress test that showed all was well in my chest, and the blood pressure was under control, and i had lost weight in the diabetes scare. All was well. I was high.

That is the way she wants me to feel. But i have taken antidepressants before and that is not how they make me feel. Having the future look hopeful makes me feel that way. I was up with cause.

So I called and made an appointment with my GP. She is on vacation and will not be able to see me for over 2 weeks. I have time to think about it.

I also have an appointment for another stress test. I look forward to the results of that. I get scared when i push myself and i get all out of breath and my chest hurts. Right after a stress test that tells me my heart is functioning well i can push myself a little harder.

When i talk to my GP I am going to tell her that i want to exercise under the supervision of someone who knows what they are doing. There is a place in Sugarland that just opened up that offers that service. If i could learn how far it is ok to push….. The same center also offers diet supervision. I don’t know what it would cost. Surely insurance would cover some.