Much as I like my front doors, i am tired of seeing them here. Must post.
It is spring. We have the air conditioner on. 🙂 In the mornings it is beautiful outside. I have resolved not to spend any money on plants this year because they will just die when summer comes, but the temptation is strong. It happens in the spring. Perhaps if i liked it outside in the summer i would take better care of my plants then. Perhaps between the concrete driveway and the brick wall radiating heat the heat of the afternoon sun, nothing would make it along the drive-way anyway. Luke had a landscaper over the other day… someone working a couple of houses down… He suggested cactus. We have thought of cactus, but there are some pretty mean spines on most cacti.
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My diet – It was going so well. I don’t know why it is so hard now. It wa so easy before. I will be on for a few days, and then not for a few days, and on for a few days and not for a few. Unfortunately the nots are getting longer than the ons. I will gain 2 pounds and lose 2 pounds and gain 3 pounds and lose 2 pounds…… I know that if i continue like this i will lose ground.
Luke is worried about himself too. He was doing pretty well for a while. He and i were dieting differently… or thinking of dieting differently. I was trying to eat smart and not think of it as depriving myself. Luke was trying to concentrate on eating as little as he could. I think we messed each other up. I kept telling him he did not have to starve himself till he went back to eating all he wants and he kept talking about how little he was eating till i felt like a pig…  unhappy with myself. That was just a factor in my decline; i was already having trouble. We are talking about needing to get back on track. We both want to… but we need to do it individually, not together.
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I have been buying fiesta again and my cabinet looks so pretty. I bought some cups and saucers and I feel so feminine drinking my coffee now. Something about a pretty shaped cup on a saucer… and the fiesta cups are plain and heavy enough that they don’t make me feel like i am pretending when i use them. (I keep thinking how pretty the juniper one would be with a green tinted tea,) We are expecting mugs for Luke. He likes the fiesta too.
Now if i only had enough cabinet space for my pretties. 🙂 I drew up plans for a piece of cabinet-like furniture to go under the kitchen window. We have given it to a cabinetmaker who lives up the street and he is going to give us a quote. Crossing my fingers that the price is good. Should have asked him about the same unit minus the 3 drawers. I want the drawers. I am shorter on drawers than i am on shelves, but i am sure drawers cost more. Oh well. We will see. One thing this new unit will have is vertical space for cookie sheets and cooling racks. That will be cool.
And the rest around here is pretty much the same as always…… 🙂
Cabinet space is one of the things that I’m looking forward to having when we move to the new appartment.
Dieting is hard, but worth it. Keep it up on your own and find what works best for you. I’ve found it is usually an individual thing, as nobody works the same on how they diet best.
You and Dad have different approaches to food, so it’s pretty evident you would have different approaches to dieting. In fact, I think we discussed this; you being glad it was just you dieting so you didn’t have to be concerned about whether Dad would mess up your strategy or not.
So, here it is, happening pretty much as planned.
Dad is competitive. You are supportive. Dad’s way probably gets faster results. Your way gets lasting results.
Remember – you are not dieting. You are re-learning how to approach food and nutrition and how to eat. Think about that as you try to hold your ground against Dad – he may be dieting, but you are forming new life habits.
Think lovingly towards yourself. When Dad is eaing three carrots and a parsley leaf for supper, eat your full 20 points of food and savor it. Tell your body how much you love it, that you are giving it the right amount of the right type of food. Tell your joints and kidneys and heart that you are helping them be healthy and happy. Be a mom again – feed yourself what you ought to eat, and make yourself eat all of the good things you are feeding yourself.
Just a few silly tricks. If one of them works for you, great.
I don’t know if we have talked about this before, but i think it. You know i tend to think of myself as parent/child. Used to be, my “parent” was pretty hard on my “child” and my child would go off and eat to console herself. Temporary fix. My “parent” is no longer hard on my “child” which is a good thing, except that now my “child” gets away with anything. I indulge my “child.” She has all these pretty kitchen toys now (and pretty dishes). She has a constant supply of netflix movies and computer fun and neglects the house and everything else she ought to be doing in the pursuit of what ever whim she is following at the moment. (and I like it)
Every time my “parent” has the urge to control my (spoiled) “child,” she, the child, sticks her lower lip out and starts to sulk a little, and my “parent” caves. The pendulum has swung. The child has the upper hand.
Food enters in here. I ask myself, if I were a loving parent, would l let my child eat anything she wanted? Of course not! I want to be a loving parent. Instead i am an indulgent parent…. One problem is that when my child first starts to feel miserable guilt or self loathing, my parent and my child both stop it immediately. I like that. I like that alot. I fully intend to keep that up. But the tools I used, for too much of my life, to keep my child in check were guilt and the terrible question, “what makes you think you deserve that?” and my child has a hard time not reverting when my parent trys to discipline.
There for a while both sides of me were committed to weight loss and health so there was no conflict. That is where i need to be. It was so effortless… Actually, my child was as pleased with herself as my parent was.