Pondering this whole vegan/diet thing

I am sitting here tonight thinking, how far do I take this thing? I am eating a vegan diet. I like it. It is good for my body. I don’t mind not eating meat. I have pretty much decided that milk and milk products may be off my list permanently. But… where do I draw the line?

What got me to thinking about it was this: A few days ago, I bought some chia seeds. Chia seeds are fun. They are a super food, full of all sorts of good things which is why i bought them. The reason they are fun is that they gel liquid. I put them in water and played with them, seeing how much they gelled. Then I got this bright idea that I would gel juice. I bought a bottle of apple juice (real apple juice, not from concentrate) and added some chia seeds and blueberries. It was very good. I did it again. For some reason the chia did not gel as well (perhaps I did not use as much, but it seemed like as much and i did measure). I decided to add a little knox gelatin. Yes, I know, it is not vegan, but I did it. It jelled up nicely, loose, but nice. Apple juice and blueberries are wonderful with almonds. With the super food, chia, in the mix, it is good for me too, enough to balance the sugar from time to time.

So yesterday and today I have been looking for a vegan gelatin. I found options. I could probably find unflavored vegan jel by Natural Desserts and agar agar at whole foods, and if i find them in small quantities, I will try them. But i am not grossed out by what gelatin is and where it comes from. Why not just use regular gelatin?

I don’t know the answer to that.

I have been having fun being a vegan. It is an adventure trying vegan recipes and finding so many new ways to put food together. It’s fun using cauliflower and tofu in place of cheese and having it actually work. (I am going to share my vegan lasagna recipe one day soon.) I have found new spices and flavors. I am actually enjoying cooking again.

Now, since I wrote last, i have been bad. I have had 3 or 4 chocolate bars, all vegan, all semi-sweet, but, lets face it, still fat and sugar. I have had 2 pint containers (almost – I still have some) of dairy free ice cream. They are surprisingly good. But they are still fat and sugar. We went to the store today and I had no urge (well only a small urge) to buy more. I have had my fling and am ready to get back to serious dieting.

But today I was thinking, why not pay half the price and get a semi-sweet chocolate bar that has a little milk in it? If it doesn’t upset my system and I am not offended by the animal product, why not? It is not like I am going to be eating a lot of chocolate bars. Now the ice cream is a different matter. There is way more than a trace of milk in ice cream.

The thing is, I wonder if accepting the use of Knox gelatin, which I already have, and which is readily available in grocery stores, and indulging in an occasional semi-sweet chocolate without making sure there is no trace of milk, would be the beginning of the end of my diet. Would I cave when i visit Bill and Eliane and eat something I know I shouldn’t? Would I decide to go ahead and put an egg in my cornbread? Would i decide that a little sausage to flavor my lentils is not such a big deal? Would I eventually be right back where I was a month ago? I do intend to eat meat again, probably, maybe, someday, just not to make it the mainstay of my diet. But I want to decide to do that, not slip into it without intending to.

Am i being silly to think using gelatin to gel my juice for an occasional treat is a big deal? (I don’t think allowing it this time is a big deal because it was done once with the intention of getting the vegan version for later use if it worked out. Occasional one-time small deviations are allowed.)

I like the challenge of keeping it vegan. That is largely what makes it fun. I doubt if a little gelatin occasionally is going to do me any harm, but if I allow that, will I allow another thing and another till the fun is gone because I am no longer living within the rules of the game and it is no longer a challenge? I just don’t know where to draw the line….

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