I just found myself cruising through the kitchen (again) looking for “something.” And I stopped myself again. I want something sweet. I have been here before. I have failed at about this time before because the craving for sweets defeats me. Hopefully writing here will give me a little more reason to resist.
Tonight I was watching a commercial for some restaurant. I became aware, that as each tempting option was shown, I was focussed on the bread. It looked so good.
It will pass. I know this craving will pass. But right now, any time my mind is not fully occupied, it starts nudging me toward the kitchen where the sweet things live.
And then there are the surprise attacks. Yesterday I opened the back refrigerator for a perfectly legitimate reason and there were the cokes, sweet bubbly cokes. Dang! (I need to get those things moved out to the shop where they will not be as attainable.) You know, when I was on Weight Watchers, I lost weight even though I was indulging myself with Cokes. They let you eat anything as long as you count up the points.
But this is different. These days I am trying to break my carb addiction because 1) health 2) weight. I could have a coke if the goal was only weight. I could use my calorie allowance however I wanted. But sugar is bad for me. Anything that instantly turns into sugar when I digest it is bad for me. Sugar is even bad for skinny people. Sugar and all the other delicious empty carbs are threatening my health.
We had roast tonight. The potatoes and carrots and gravy (thickened with cornstarch) were so good…… They will be going soon… off limits… high carb vegetables. This may well be my farewell to potatoes. Sigh……..  Baked potatoes with butter and cheese and sour cream……. Yes, I am torturing myself. Oddly, on a low carb diet I can have the butter, cheese, and sour cream, but not the potatoes.
The intensity of the craving has been a past marker for me of how much I need to avoid.
There’s the craving that politely suggests that something would be a delightful little treat. That one I can indulge, feel pleasure, and not worry that I’m going to fall off the straight & narrow.
But then there’s the craving that pleads and bargains and threatens and cajoles and sulks and screams .. that’s the one I have to not indulge, because it will go rampaging around like an 8-yr-old Allie Brosh in a dinosaur suit. But that’s the one that does not like ‘no’. At all.