WW

I am still struggling….. This is the danger time for me and any diet. I have lost enough that i feel good; probably my fat cells are feeling deprived and my body is crying out for food, preferably carbs; and I am not as diligent because it has gotten routine and, thus, boring, and because I am confident that i can and will do it so I don’t keep myself focused.

I had a small gain this week.

On the plus side, I am still determined. Usually by this time in the struggle, i have given up. This time i am not giving up. I am falling, but i am getting back up and starting again. It does not hurt that i bought the $150 plan… Pay $150 up front and they cut the cost of meetings from $12 a week to $9.something… And, in addition to the savings, there is the benefit is that, having paid $150 up front, i am almost compelled to go to the meetings.
Tonight at Weight Watchers i received the coveted 16 week award. Seems that stastically 16 weeks is the marker that means you are going to make it. Most people who stick it out for 16 weeks keep at it till they reach their weight goal.

I don’t know what my weight goal is. I try very hard to let myself wallow in “what if’s”
and not think “I wish i had done this 20 years ago,” not so much because i would have had so many more good years, and would never have gotten this fat, but more because 20 years ago my skin would have shrunk down and adjusted to a smaller body. I need to find out what a full body lift would cost before i set a weight goal. Right now i have to get my belly fixed. There is no way i can go thru life with this droopy belly… but i wonder, at what point am i agoing to have the same droopy skin hanging in folds on my back, my butt, my thighs, my upper arms… Actually, if i got down to somewhere between 200 and 250 and my skin was not yet hanging in folds, perhaps i should stop, get the belly fixed, and just plan on being that much overweight for the rest of my life. I don’t know… I wish i could say 150 is my goal…. but i would rather be fat than have my skin hanging.

What is it they say…. Perhaps the purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others? 🙂

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