Last Weight Watchers meeting of 2005

Well, I am still losing… not much, but considering the time of the year and the fact that i am making cookies, any loss is better than i expect.

The meeting next week has been canceled, so there are 2 weeks till my next weigh-in. I do have a goal for the new year; I am 2 pounds away from it. I think I can eat Christmas dinner and Christmas goodies and still take off 2 pounds in 2 weeks.

I discovered a mistake in my “pounds lost” last week. They had me losing, as i recall, about 3 pounds more than i have – an accumulation of small mistakes when they subtracted. If i had not found the error i would think i had reached the new year goal already.

The holidays have been hard with the Thanksgiving goodies, the fast food and eating out when shopping or too darn busy, the Christmas baking, and the fewer trips to the Y, but I still feel pretty good about it. Probably this is the first time i will have made it thru the holidays with any weight loss at all.

Brownie Rant

Okay.

This is a rant. Or venting, or gaining perspective, or what-have-you.

I have a co-worker (desk within about 6 feet of mine) who is 1) Very Religious 2) a new adoptive father 3) a successful dieter 4) the office “encourager.”

On the surface, and probably down deep, he’s a really nice guy. And he doesn’t press his attitude on anyone; he doesn’t try to convert anyone, either to his religion or his diet plan. But every parent stops by and I hear those stories. Sometimes someone calls him and I hear the same stories again. He heads a bible study and I hear those encouraging calls. Every time anyone in the office is dieting they come by and I hear those pep talks. For some people, it’s a daily to weekly session. For months on end. Seriously, one person stops by at least once a week and has done so since they started dieting. In JANUARY. And they’re having great success, in part due to the constant encouragement; they’ve lost 60+ lbs and look great.

Yet for some reason, the constant encouraging on all of these topics is driving me Up The Wall. Why? Why am I bothered by this?

A few days ago I brought in brownies. It was my car’s birthday, I wanted to celebrate. This co-worker (let’s call him Henry) brings in brownies frequently. Not to carp, but his brownies are often unpalatable. They are usually dry and bitter. They have chocolate chips mixed in, like some brownies would have pecans, on the “triple chocolate” theory, which does not work for these brownies. They are topped with their own height in store frosting. I always take one. I seldom eat it.

This “Henry” does take similar office offerings from other people. But seldom-if-ever from me. (I can’t recall any time that he has, but I’m sure it’s happened at some time) And this time, when I specifically offered, he said, oh, he couldn’t, he’s dieting again. HOWEVER, a while back we specifically talked about brownies, I said I had a great recipe and I’d bring them in sometime, and he said great, he looked forward to tasting them.

So. I’m sure he is dieting. And I should be really supportive of his will power, especially since Mom is successfully dieting and I want to pattern myself after a supportive, encouraging person.

Yet, I was really really miffed. I felt slighted; insulted. And I know a lot of it is because I’m so tired of all the happy encouraging. And a lot of it was because I feel my brownies are really superior to his and I wanted to show him up a little and I felt like he’d promised to take a taste. Just a taste. I told him to cut his own sliver; I didn’t want to mess up his diet but wouldn’t he please celebrate with me?

Rant rant rant.

OK. So. This got me thinking about how emotionally tied I am to food gifts. And I got to thinking about how this is a pattern I need to break.

So. MOM. What do you think is at work here? How would I best redirect my emotional attachment to the gifting of food? Why is food and the appreciation of food so blasted emotional anyway?

And why am I so fed up with what is a positive behaviour (the encouraging)?

coffee is good for you

Found this article a few days ago – just getting around to distributing it:

Coffee does not increase risk of high blood pressure – www.usnews.com

This study was just for women. It found that while drinking highly caffinated colas increased the risk for high blood pressure, drinking coffee regularly decreased the risk.

That’s right. It’s Healthy.

Cholesterol Results

Well, I said (to Mom at least) that when I got my bloodwork results in I’d post my cholesterol levels just to show you all how excellent my levels are. This way, when I come to Ren Fest and eat all the fried offerings I can find, you’ll know that I’m allowed 🙂

Total Cholesterol – 166 (good range: 100-199)
HDL (good) – 79 (range: 40-59; over 59 is good)
LDL (bad) – 77 (range: 0-99; I think she said under 60 is good)
LDL/HDL ratio – 1.0 (normal is 3.2; a ratio of 1.5 halves the risk factors)

I am having turkey legs and fried mushrooms and queen annes lace and .. what else do they have?

I have all my other blood levels too – lymph and bilirubin and glucose and protein and globulin etc. etc. etc. Just ask me. I have all the numbers. (lol)

Glucose is 88. (normal: 65-99). This was a fasting test.
Hemocrit is 35.4 (normal: 34-44). This is why the ARC keeps turning me down when the want my type o blood so desparately.

Anyway. Those are my fabulous numbers.

Weight Watchers

I took the big step and joined Weight Watchers last Thursday. It is going to be expensive. $12 a week. I have all the info and am paid ahead for 3 months (they were running a special if I bought 3 months at a time).

The diet is different….. I really do not see how I am going to lose very much on it because it is so very non-restrictive. I eat as much as I usually do, and the instructions are very clear that I am supposed to eat all that is allowed.

It works on a point system, as I am sure you know. Every food has a point value. I don’t really understand why some things have the points they do. A 12 ounce Coke, for example, is 3 points, while a 12 ounce glass of chocolate milk (2%) is 6 points.

But they do have points for everything and if the item is not on the list, they have a handy little gadget for figuring the points. And if I want to give them even more money they have books with more foods and their points or I could join online (for an additional fee) and then I could type in recipies and they would tell me the points for a serving of them. Actually, they gave me a 2 week trial for online. I intend to join when I have time to type in all the recipies I usually use so I can get points on all of them while the service is free.

Anyway, I have joined… I have taken the step…. In a few weeks we will see if the diet works for me. I have a feeling I will need to cut my points back a little. I have a feeling my metabolism is slower than average. But they made a strong point that I am to eat all I am supposed to because if I drop below the points they figure for my weight, my body will go in to starvation mode and reset its metabolism. So I will try to eat all my points and see if I lose anything before I cut back. I have heard people say they are amazed by how much you can eat and they are never hungry, so maybe so…. the things they want you to avoid are creamy salad dressings, mayonaise, butter, whole milk, sour cream (the whole kind), fatty meats, sweetened ceriels, and, of course, cake, cookies, ice cream, etc. But they give you so many blasted points that I have plenty for even those things! (well not alot of those things…. which is why I may lose weight on this diet even though I am eating, I feel, more than I usually do.)

Doctor

Went to the doctor the other day, the heart doctor. She tells me i HAVE to lose weight. Of course I already knew that. I have gained. Every time I try to lose I gain. I freak when i try to diet, and end up eating more than if i was not trying. She tells me she wants me to go to my GP and get a prescription for diet drugs and antidepressants.

I hate the idea of diet drugs, and will require one that has been in use for years so it is less likely to have surprise side effects, but maybe it is time.

I do not think i need an antidepressant.

The first time i went to see this doctor i was down. I thought I was diabetic. I knew i had high blood pressure. I was down.

The second time i went to her i knew i was not only not diabetic, i was not even pre-diabetic, and I had taken a stress test that showed all was well in my chest, and the blood pressure was under control, and i had lost weight in the diabetes scare. All was well. I was high.

That is the way she wants me to feel. But i have taken antidepressants before and that is not how they make me feel. Having the future look hopeful makes me feel that way. I was up with cause.

So I called and made an appointment with my GP. She is on vacation and will not be able to see me for over 2 weeks. I have time to think about it.

I also have an appointment for another stress test. I look forward to the results of that. I get scared when i push myself and i get all out of breath and my chest hurts. Right after a stress test that tells me my heart is functioning well i can push myself a little harder.

When i talk to my GP I am going to tell her that i want to exercise under the supervision of someone who knows what they are doing. There is a place in Sugarland that just opened up that offers that service. If i could learn how far it is ok to push….. The same center also offers diet supervision. I don’t know what it would cost. Surely insurance would cover some.

blog

Sitting here thinking that the purpose of this blog is to keep me on the straight and narrow food-wise, or at least to keep me focused. I guess it is making me think about it tonight.

Thursday 8th

Mostly a frustrating day. I went to the pool this morning and learned that my favorite instructor is quitting in 3 weeks. I will miss her. All the other instructors are obviously bored with the stretching and flexing we need, and do not lead a class that is challenging or interesting.

Class was frustrating because the pool was so full. The first 30 minutes there were only 2 or 3 swimming classes. The second 30 minutes there were 2 or 3 swimming classes, several parents who were teaching their own children and cutting thru our walking space like it had been allotted to them, and a physical therapy group occupying roughly the same space we were using. There was also a bunch of kids in the deep end, so it would not have been any better in the deep water.

Summer pool use is frustrating. The Y needs money; they schedule things in our time slot all the time. They do not do this to the other classes. I guess they figure all we are doing is walking while the other classes are jumping around to loud music. Perhaps that makes them a more real class. I wish i liked the earlier class, but i don’t. Jumping around hurts my knees, even though i am jumping in the water, and nobody can keep up with the music, which does not seem to bother anyone else, but it bothers me. The volume also bothers me. I do not understand why exercise music must be so blasted loud.

But there was one good thing at the pool… a conversation with another walker. She joined weight watchers about 6 months ago and has lost 50 pounds. She talked about how she edged into the diet and how, now that she is used to it, she is not hungry. She likes the point system they have for their food, and she likes that you lose slowly. It was a good conversation.

The rest of the day was spent in pursuit of a swim suit. Mine gave way in a big way this morning. I doubt if i could wear it again. I thought i might try tomorrow because i love Fridays. Fridays there are no swimming lessons! Then i remembered that Monday was a holiday so Friday will be the make-up day. I think tomorrow i will stay home and try to re-make my suit again.

They must put alot of chlorine in the water. My swim suits disintegrate at a speed I have never before experienced.

I did not find a suit. I came home and found the site of the manufacturer of my current suit. They have a well laid out site. They do not sell their suits, but they have pictures of each suit they make and link each suit to every store that sells it and they link each style to similar styles. I spent a while following links and did not find a single suit i could order.

I looked on ebay and found one suit that is possible. It is a different brand. I have learned that different brands may be too short from my last series of suits purchased thru ebay (none of which worked for me). I wrote to the seller asking her to measure here and there, If it is long enough i will buy it.

But the only sure thing i can do, i will do tomorrow. I will cut the ragged remains of my old inner suit away from the outer “dress,” and replace it with the inner suit from a suit i bought on ebay last time around. This ebay suit has a sheer ruffly outer dress. I would feel so silly in it, but more than that, the purpose of the dress is to make my shape a little less well defined, and that sheer does not hide a thing. It did not look sheer in the picture on ebay, and sheerness was not mentioned in the description. I thought about sending the darn thing back and demanding my money, but the under suit fits and is a color that i could wear under my current suit.

The outer skirt on my current suit shows no effects of chlorine for some reason. I would think it was that it is loose, but the inner suit is not tight and what happens to it has nothing to do with stretching and everything to do with rotting.

Anyway…….. frustrating day, but i am not without hope for next week.